TOURING 2

Team Bearded Lady

So the next couple of years consisted of lots of open track action, mostly at Laguna Seca and Thunderhill. Car mods were limited to safety, handling and braking improvements. But a peak speed of 87 mph on the front straight of Laguna, and continually getting stuck behind high-powered but slow lapping cars led to the inevitable quest for power.

In late '99 he installed kit #1 from Panache and became a torque fiend. Brian suddenly experienced something new - - acceleration. The pedal on the right could no longer be mashed indiscriminately mid-corner. After mowing down some infield grass, a revised driving style developed. "Picture a string between the steering wheel and the gas pedal." Yeah, whatever.

Inspired by Mae West's wisdom, "too much of a good thing can be wonderful", power is up considerably for the OTC event.. Pink bunnies may loom in the future...

His arrival in California 4 years ago coincided with his recent purchase of the smallest modern car he could fit his 6'5" frame into, a Mazda Miata. After slapping on a turbo and still getting passed by stock 1.6 cars at Laguna, it occurred to him that learning to drive might be a worthwhile pursuit.

Since then he has pursued club days at Laguna, Sears Point, Thunderhill, Buttonwillow, and Speedring, setting literally dozens of personal bests. He also instructs at Thunderhill and has been known to post semi-respectable times (2:05's) driving his Turbo Miata on RA1's, in otherwise full street trim.

In March of '01 the car enjoyed a boost-friendly reduction of static compression by means of rod #4 ventilating the block, the oil pan, the block again, the piston, the starter, and the oil dipstick. That provoked a serious soul-searching period during which various alternatives were considered. Exploring the V8 conversion brought him to Brian Bonn's doorstep, literally, and since then the pair have derived mutual giggles pondering the effects of *lots* of torque in a stock unibody early Miata chassis.

Toby's car is undergoing a resurrection to pseudo-GT3/EP spec and won't be ready in time for this year's OTC. With suitable sandbagging this year, plus efforts to convince BP the car is still streetable (absent windshield notwithstanding), it ought to be a contender in '03.

There's no question OTC entrants are instant nookie magnets, but that's not the reason. We're doing it because driving 2600 miles will be less stressful than a week at work.

2. Is the Miata still considered a "girly car" with that manly small block V8 shoe-horned under the hood?

That's kind of like asking if Martina Navratilova is still a girly tennis player in the same spirit as Martina Hingis.

Our car! The Bearded Lady is gonna wish she was back at the circus sideshow after these seven days. But with regard to the enemy camp, we're putting together a simple plan so everyone gets their spanking in an orderly way. We'll have a number dispenser in the pits, and the T2 crowd is invited to "take a number."

When your number is called on the track, check your mirror because we'll be the ones going by in a red blur of sound and fury. Or maybe just a cloud of dust and rubble, depending on our line.

6. I am already preparing for the OTC After Party in Vegas and I wanted to solicit some advice from you guys. Do you think the ladies like it better when I refer to myself as "Daddy" or when I characterize myself in the third person like "Brian is so money!"?

Go for "Big Daddy B", but if your lady friends are as young as they'll have to be to believe your racing stories, they might find "Daddy" easier to remember.

7. There are going to be a whole lot of flapperheads...err, Canadians...participating in OTC. Would you fancy it inappropriate for American OTC'ers to take a page out of the Olympic fans' book and start shouting "USA! USA! USA!" every time an American is announced as a class winner?

Toby [Canadian]: Just remember, if any Russians enter, they win by default.

Brian [American]: How'd I get stuck with a Canadian? This is the first I heard about it. He'll probably stock the cooler with Canada Dry and maple syrup... great.

8. If you just finished a week of non-stop racing, would you rather finish in a hotel lounge in Upstate New York or, say, a big-ass casino in Las Vegas? Just curious.

Vegas. 2500 miles closer! Plus our invincible luck could quickly be parlayed into enough money to make it home.

9. Every time an OTC participant goes spins off track or otherwise takes a detour into the agricultural surroundings, I am going to affix a pink bunny sticker to their car. Are you afraid of the pink bunnies?

No. There's so much dirt on the car from previous off-tracks, the pink bunnies won't stick. In the unlikely event they remain, they'll be worn as a badge of honor. Start with an excessive torque to wheelbase ratio, add having only driven two of these tracks, and we're pretty much bunny bait.

10. Act like you are a big money racer who just won the greatest event in history. Clearly and concisely thank those who are supporting your efforts. If you don't want to do that, you can remind our Race Director, Ryan Flaherty, how I'm going to crush him in the Lil' Scooter Race.

Key contributors to this car are Martin Wilson of Panache (v8miata.com), Ed Curtis of FlowTech Induction (flowtechinduction.com), and the motley cast at YahooGroups/MiataConversion. They put the hair on the Bearded Lady.