Team Members
David Pratte (Ancaster, ON) George Dedopoulos (Newmarket, ON)
Owner/Driver Co-Driver

Having graduated from 'Da School of Jean Chretien English', Dave 'as gone on to gots long an' glorious educashon an' shoulds soon be completings dah Ph.D. in Medicalle Andropology. Dis is w'at da future in'elligencia of Canahda looks like. Huwee will conquer da worlds...oh yes, huwee will eh! eh! eh!

Besides pursuing the perfection of the English language and the study of other cultures, Dave has done a bit of racing. The son of a car fanatic, he was surrounded by MGs and Triumphs early on in his formative years, only to be corrupted further by the roar of Corvette V8's during his teen years. Shortly after getting his liscense, Dave was competing with his dad at the local Corvette club Solo 2 events and planning his eventual assault on the F1 ranks. After the assault charges were dropped, Dave was able to continue his autosports career, this time in a Honda Prelude. Having conquered far and wide (um, doing well for a few years of Solo 1 competition in Ontario) in the 'Lude, it was time to build
something a little faster and a little cheaper to straighten. Thus entered the current competition car, the fearsome 1993 Honda Civic CX!!! I can hear you quaking in your boots from here! Ok, the 102hp CX engine wasn't exactly striking fear into the hearts of the compeition so a B18C Integra engine was quickly transplanted into the little red tin can along with a host of other go-fast goodies, yielding a Z06-like power-to-weight ratio.

See how I came full circle there, from a childhood of Corvettes to a Honda with the power-to-weight ratio of a C5 Corvette? Jean Chretien taughted me good!

On April 16th we met a 25 year old candy raver at the Royal Canadian Shelter. For 11 days and nights he had been confined in a small cage, except for brief exercise walks. His caregivers at the shelter seemed to know almost nothing about his past. We did know for certain that he was old and filthy! A reluctant convict and I bathed him in preparation of his release. A short time later our family's veterinarian was examining this arcane and bashful animal while he stole inquisitive glances at me. We figured he would make a wonderful candidate for a racing career!

The rest, as they say is history. After two months of social reprogramming (you may love the world, but it doesn't love you back), he was strapped into a slightly modified Honda del Slo and told he would be given bacon strips and Molson beer in return for quick Solo 2 times. He succeeded and not only surprised himself, but parking lots of cheering spectators. He was upgraded to an Acura Integra Type R the next month to continue his assult on the Solo community. He's also known for travelling thousands of miles, mostly driven by his peculiar affection for topographical maps and his curiosity for making the world his surroundings.

In the two years since he has had a few class wins in Solo 1 and 2 events, but never successfully finished a season. Teddy Roosevelt once observed to a public audience that animals have poor social manners but their hearts are true and pure when they donate affection to some lucky human. Every day as a foster guardian is a day to treasure and take personal pride. We're glad George has realized the dreams we always knew he had inside.


 

Car Information
Year/Make/Model 1993 Honda Civic CX
Engine Displacement: 60.9 fluid ounces (U.S.)
Weight 64,300 troy ounces
Horsepower: 556 megajoules/hour at the front wheels
Modifications: Bioware hard media upgrade, carbon flux capacitor

 

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A Sunday Conversation with Dave and Geo...by BP

1. What is the motivation to drive so far to do OTC? What is it, like a 3000 mile hike for you guys?

Dave: Well, to be honest I've wanted to do 'One Lap of America' for quite a few years now but I just couldn't bring myself to pony up the bucks for some reason. When I heard about the OTC and realized how much track time was involved, not to mention the close proximity to the Mustang Ranch, I just had to do it. I'm a track whore first and foremost, and the OTC is just the kind of crack a whore like me can't resist! 3,000 miles be damned, I need a week long hit and it'll be twice as sweet thumping some California surfer dudes on their home tracks.

George: I had Mustang Ranch on my salad last Friday. I've been trying to cut down on my Mustang intake lately though. Someone told me mortadella is horse meat. There goes my lunch. Actually I've been into road trips and racing since I first saw Cannonball Run. My idols as a child were the two Japanese guys watching Behind the Green Door while racing. <sigh> It doesn't hurt that the racing is going to be in the Mecca of cactus cultivation.

2. Is NASCAR big up there in Canada?

Dave: Sadly, we have taken your redneck roundy-round racing, given it the stunningly original name CASCAR, made it slower and less entertaining (if that's even possible), all the while attracting that segment of Canadian society who enjoys a good chaw on some tabacci while wearing their favorite stained overalls. When the dirt ovals shut down for the winter, I think it's safe to say there's some serious NASCAR watchin' going on up here. Every time I turn on the new 'Speed' channel I lose a little faith in humanity...

George: I actually met one of those CASCAR drivers in the airport on my way to Vancouver; the Mecca of mushroom cultivation. He thanked his sponsors for supplying him with a steering rack and was then eaten by a yellow shark driving a grey school bus with gills. Those circle racing guys sure are strange...

3. One time I was driving our Explorer down the highway and went to pass some ridiculously lowered Civic with the big exhaust tip and neon package. The genius behind the wheel of the Civic must have thought I was racing him because he floored it. The Explorer pulled on that poor Lil' Honda. I have two questions related to this. One, your car is faster than Ford Explorers, right? Two, can you explain to me not only what this jackass was thinking, but also how he probably felt getting yanked by an Explorer.

Dave: I'm pretty sure my car is faster than an Explorer, except maybe when it comes to blowing out a tire and rolling in the ditch 5 times.

As for what the driver of the pimpin' low Honda was thinking when he decided to race an Explorer, here's my best guess. "Damn boooeeeey, I ain't gunna lets pops over there in his bling bling Sport Ute pull on me! I'ze gotta teach him some manners with my madd skillz and my 20'' rims!". Personally, I think this is actually a good example of natural selection running its course. By crazy glueing useless cosmetic crap to his car not only is this intellectual juggernaut freeing himself of considerable sums of money that might be spent on something useful like an education or some clean underwear, we can also hope that he may one day permanently removed himself from the gene pool during a street race gone bad. I sincerely hope he doesn't take anyone out with him, that's all.

George: We've definitely strayed from the beaten path with the way we've built our cars. Everybody knows that Civics and Integras were built for drag racing. We get it all the time from kids yelling out their windows; "If you wanted a car that could turn you should have bought a Corvette, everybody knows imports don't handle". I think I'm the only person who hasn't upgraded to 8" rotors to be able to fit 13" drag slicks. It's not that easy swimming upstream, but it makes the spawning that much sweeter.

4. Can you guys be considered life's big winners?

Dave: We're Canadian, so we've certainly got a leg up in that department compared to most of our competition at the OTC. We've had access to French Canadian softcore porn on public TV for decades, seen our Prime Minister (um, he's like the President except he's not powerful enough to get away with cheating on his wife for more than one term in office) give the media the finger in the 70's and choke a man in the 90's, seen the Canadarm rein supreme over the Space Shuttle, and witnessed the return of the Olympic gold metal in hockey to its rightful owners after 50 years. So yeah, I think we're as well equipped as humanly possible to be life's big winners, but more importantly we will be T4's big winner because there's a long and honoured tradition in Canada of cheatin' like a bastard!

George: Yes, I've always considered myself to have one of life's big weiners. Thank you for asking.

5. If the French judge blows a call at OTC, are you guys going to petition until you get gold medals....err, OTC awards...too?

Dave: We may be willing to negotiate some 'closed door' compensation if the judge is a super-model on vacation from the French Riveira with a convenient fetish for hairy, beer drinking, flatulent Canadian men.

George: Speak for yourself, I shave 1/3 of my body hair. Actually between the two of us we could probably make up one sasquatch and one dolphin. Of course if the yellow shark shows up in his school bus again I think there'll be reason to worry.

6. Any chance either of you guys were involved with that dude who tried to drive a car full of plastic explosives from Canada to Los Angeles International Airport? I mean, I'm all for having you guys do OTC, but not if you are using it as a terrorist front. Please disregard if all you plan on doing is crushing T4.

Dave: Hey, I was aquitted of those charges, and it wasn't plastic explosives it was Oscar Meyer weiners.

George: Oscar's wieners? I thought we were life's big wieners? I was involved with the guy who was bringing explosives in his shoes. Well, I wasn't involved with him, but I gave him the idea after my trip to the Mecca of seed cultivation; Amsterdam.

7. How stupid is that show Battle Bots?

Dave: Can't say I've watched a whole episode, but I do know that Twiki the robot from the TV show 'Buck Rogers' kicks butt! Throw him in the ring with the biggest battle bot you've got and Twiki will bitch slap it from here to El Paso. "Bede bede bede!" (www.buck-rogers.com)

George: They have a show for it now? I always loved battlebobbing for apples! My friends would try to grab my head and drown me, while I was content knowing that I was transmitting infectious diseases to them.

8. Can we send Alec Baldwin to Canada?

Dave: Only if we can shave his chest and make warm fuzzy mittens for the underprivileged.

George: A man with that kind of talent would be revered for generations. The Charlton Heston of the north. How about we let you keep Tom Green and William Shatner plus a second round draft pick and we call it even?

9. Where is the better place to conclude an event like OTC...the Rio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas or some Sheraton in Upstate New York? Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Dave: Hmm, lets see, finish a week-long orgy of motorsports in a state with legalized prostitution or in a state with Albany? I think this one answers itself.

George: Mmmmm, mortadella.

10. This is where you get to thank anyone and everyone who is helping you at OTC. You can do it in your native language of Canadian if you wish.

Dave: me, I woulds like to danks my Dads for knockings up my Mom, me, I woulds like to danks my Mom for carryings my sorry arse arounds for 9 monds, me, I woulds like to danks dem bods for my ruggeds goods looks an' astonishings in'ellect, me, I per'aps mos' of all me, I woulds like to danks Dordy, da Wickeds Witch of Huwees', Toto, da Tin Man, da Straw Man, an' mos' of all da Cow'ardly Lion. Oh yes, an' me, I can't forget to danks ours tireless Prime Minstier, Jean Cretien, for teachings me such goodly English eh! (http://pm.gc.ca/)

George: First and moremost of course I would like to thank my unmet friend Timothy, for teaching me the importance of tuning out as well as tuning in the car. I'd like to thank dog for not giving me aixelsyd, Juan Atkins, the Jungle Brothers, Clayton from Renegade Soundwave, Hatrias, Andy C, the Tdot massive - BOOYAKA, Sniper and Mystical, Marcus, the guy with the white butterflies, green roughnecks, white diamonds, orange supermans, blue calvin kleins, <drool> Roland for inventing the TB-303, TR-808, TR-909 and the rest of the x0x series. Airwalk for not breaking my feet. Naked Music for showing me there is life after central living. And most of all to my ex girlfriend for teaching me that Preparation H is NOT a replacement for KY Jelly.